Showing posts with label ringgo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ringgo. Show all posts

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Bukannya Aku Tidak Ingin Untuk Senyum Kembali Kepadamu Sayang..........

Salam,

1. Last sabtu, masa aku main game bola frenly lawan Team Polonia Croydon Kings (bunyi gempak,tapi sebenarnya ayam je), salah sorang dari bangsat tuh telah dgn selambe-rocknya me-landing siku dia kat muka aku.
Tidakkah org2 Poland ni sedar bahawa muka ku ini mempunyai nilai aesthetic dan nilai komersial yg amat tinggi.

2. Tak pepasal gigi aku chip skit dan bibir aku luka seblah dalam. Tapi sebenarnya, kes kene siku kat muka taim game ni biaselah. Aku tau ramai player2 yg jeles kat aku sebab dahlah skill bola aku ala2 Messi, ensem plak tuh dari Christiano!

3. So cam biasa, aku telan je darah yg kuar dari luka tuh dan bile byk sangat, aku ludah je lah. Aku maleh kalau reff nampak, dah sah aku kene kuar jap. Manelah tau kot2 dalam darah aku ada penyakit Hepatitis B ke, HIV ke, PMS ke, Senggugut ke. Kang bejangkit kat player lain plak kang tak ke naya!

4. Mula2 aku ingat luka kat dalam bibir aku tuh 1-2 ari setel dah lah. Sekali, makin lama makin sakit.....or lagi tepat, lagi pedih. Sekarang dah masuk ari ke 6 dah nih!
Bila aku belek2, depan cermin, Yes, muka aku masih ensem. Level kekacakan masih optimum. Tapi bila aku belek bawah bibir mulus ku, ........tuu dia.

Choop...choop! Nape aku nampak ulcer aku nih macam bentuk .... !! Luka pon luka ensem! Gilo !!

5. Aku dah kene Oral Ulcer. Tidak!.Oral Ulcer TIDAK ada kene mengene ngan Oral Sex FYI.

6. Oral Ulcer ataupun Mouth Ulcer ni terjadi bila lapisan mucus membrane (kulit) dalam mulut terkopek keluar. Jadi abis nampak isi dalam. Biasanya it heals by itself lepas 1-2 ari. But becoz dlm mulut ada segala mak nenek bacteria cam staph, strep, lacto, corynebacterium dan sahabat2 anaerobic mereka, maka the ulcer could be infected. So lama la baru it heals. Inilah yg terjadi kat aku.

7. Tapi aku saspek, Oral Ulcer aku ni bukan di sebabkan oleh infection. Ni mungkin aku dah kene santau angin dari The Legend of Ringgo aku rasa nih!
Mengapa agaknya, aku enggak tau Dong!
Muahahhahahhaha...


8. Anyway. Sekarang ni aku pakai ubat pekebende nih, calit selapis kat atas ulcer tuh. Tapi lu cakap senang la! Aku nak bubuh tuh, mak oii aii! Kuar gak air mata buaya aku kekadang tuh!

9. Ulcer tu cinonet jer. Tapi pedihnya.....perghh! Sebab lokasi dia agak strategic iaitu berada di tengah2 bibir atas, so ape2 action yg mengcontract muscle keliling mulut, rasa cam kene cocok2 ngan besi panas wa cakap lu. Kalau aku makan bende2 spicy pon pedih gak. Aku nak rasa kuah kari/kurma aku cukup garam ke tidak pon macam nak bersabung nyawa! (.....ni dah over exagerate nama nyer)

10. Baru sekarang aku sedar betapa besarnya nikmat Allah just untuk bukak mulut je. Sebab bibir aku rasa macam nak roboh bila aku mengunyah, bercakap, minum pakai straw, nyanyi lagu Faizal Tahir kuat2, gelak dan senyum. Rasa cam kene tumbuk siol.

11. Paling aku tensen, nak korek idung pon tak stim! Cuba kau korek idung ngan mulut tertutup vs mulut terbukak? Mana lagi kaw? Baru kau tau seksaan batin aku sekarang nih!

12. So kepada mangkuk2 di Adeled nih, tolonglah jgn buat lawak gaban depan aku. Sakit mulut aku ni woi!

13. Dan kepada gadis2 jelita yg seringkali dan saban hari melontar senyuman-senyuman manis padaku pada minggu ni, tolonglah jgn ambik hati kalau aku tidak senyum kembali padamu.
Bukannya aku bolayan.
Bukannya aku nak control macho.
Sebaliknya aku ............keuzuran!

Teruskanlah lontaran bait-bait senyuman mu itu kepadaku......
kerana ketahuilah......
Aku kan senyum kembali kepadamu
.........di hatiku
....dan di dalam mimpi-mimpi mu!!!
(semacam je bunyi nih!)

Sekian, mekacey, wassalam.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Legend of Ringo

Salam,

Kira2 setahun setengah yg lepas, masa aku dok borak2 ngan awek2 pekerja kantin di SB, tetiba diaorg gunakan perkataan "POYO".

Trus aku tanya awek2 gossip tersebut.
"Ehh engkorang, POYO tu pekebende?"
Seperti di jangka, aku kene gelak pree.
"Ehh Abang Mangkuk tak tau ke Poyo tu pekebende? Tua gile lah abang mangkuk ni...bla..bla ketingalan zaman..bla...bla..."

Tak de hal !!
Aku tau dan sedar yg aku ni dah tua.
Tapi aku juga tau dan sedar aku ni masih HENSEM TIDAK TERPERI.
So, whateva.......

"Woi, bangang! Cakap la kat aku, "poyo" tu pekebende?", aku terus mendesak.

Akhirnya diorg explain kat aku poyo tu pekebende.........dgn berbelit2 dan putar alamnya. Sammy Vellu pon kalau dengar akan tanya budak2 pompuan pekerje SB tuh.
"..Deyy Minachi!! Tum mere Hindustani?"
" Can U put da sabtaitel ON plis ?".


Aku dah nak givap utk paham pekebende Poyo nih, sampailah aku terpikir..
"Wei! Cuba kau bagik contoh kat aku sapa poyo?", sebab kadang2 bila tgk contoh baru leh paham setengah2 sabjek tu.

Setelah terkedek2 pikir, akhirnya awek A kata,
"Hah Abg Mangkuk nak tau sapa poyo ekk? Abg Mangkuk kenal Ringgo dak? Budak Petronas tuh?"
Aku , "Kenal ! Apsal tak kenal plak. Naper?"
Awek A, trus paling ke Awek B.
" Ehh B, Ringgo tu kan, Poyo kan?"
B, trus, Ya Allah, dgn muka seronok giler sebab boleh ngumpat,
"Ha ahhhhh! Betullll!!! Ringgo tu mmg Poyo sangat-sangat!!!"

Aku terus berfikir sejenak. Selepas 3 saat terbayang muka Ringgo....
" Oooooo... ...Gitu ke Poyo tu? Baru aku pahammm!!"

Terima kasih Awek A, Awek B dan terima kasih Ringgo.

________________________________________________

1. Yes, Ringgo is poyo. But his poyo-ness is a good kind of poyo. Dia tahu dia poyo. Dan dia tahu org kata dia poyo. And He never use his poyo-ity for bad causes.......ermm except when he is "sentencing" aweks (ayat la!!) or kutuking member.

2. One of the positive aspects of Poyo is confidence. Dan Ringgo cukup confident and competence bila aku mintak dia buat ape2 pon kat kedai. Takde hal. Dia juga cukup confiden yg muka dia hensem dan dialah the most eligible bachelor in Adeled. Itu adalh ayat yg sungguh "bajet" dari seorang jejaka yg bermuka senget bila tersenyum dan berkulit permanently "tidak putih sama sekali".

3. But I can deny, that he left a trail of heart-broken aweks whenever he went. From KYS, Intek and here in Adelde. I acknowledge that Ringgo may well be one of the best "pseudo-boyfriend" that any girl could asked for.

4. Why "pseudo-boyfriend"? Because confidence is not a character that is associated with his belief in love. He is a tragic romantic. He belief that any relationship must be a struggle so great that why bother bercintan bertahun2 tanpa kepastian yg cinta tu akan berakhir dgn perkahwinan. So, he never fully commit to a relationship. Biasa2 sudeh!

5. Thats totally opposite to my priciple. Although I agree that r/ship could be unpredictable and pain in the ass, but thats why U have to keep on fighting until U reach yr ultimate goal, which is marriage so we can romen-romen and got kids and romen some more until the end of time!

6. But after countless hours sparing with him on this issue, I have to admit that he got his own point of view and his logic is sound as well. What are his logics? Asked him yourself. Go "discover" Ringgo-logy.

7. Tulisan dlm post today aku sorokkan dgn mengunakan white font with white background. Aku hidekan saje je nak test sape korang yg pandai. Bukannya sebab aku nak ngumpat Ringgo, kerana..............

8. Before I wrote this entry, aku dah call dia, mintak consent nak kutuk dia. Aku dah britau dia dua point besar aku. Pertama "poyo" dan kedua his on-off "pseudo-boyfriend" status.

Regarding his poyoness, his response was, "Bodoh lah engkau.!!!."
Regarding his pseudo-boyfriend label, he said.......
"Aku ni sebenarnya charming. Aku charming la!"

Thats why, now and forever, the Legend of Ringgo will always linger in Swinging Bowl of Adelaide, as the one that define the word..........POYO.

Semoga di rahmati Allah bro
InsyaAllah kau akan berjaya in whatever u do, except to lost your weight.
Kalau kau kawin pastuh bercerai, aku akan datang dan sepak kepala engkau sebab kau bodoh!
Akhirnya,


Plis....Plis....Plis....Kamu Jangan Nakal !!!

Sekian, mekacey, wassalam.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The adventure of JURBO and DZAKAR : Le Tour de Spain......ermm PainS actually..!!! PART ONE

Salam,

Welcome to an adventure.

Hello! This is Super Jurbo. U can call him just JURBO....:-))

And this is his fren. His name is DZAKAR.....ehh Dakar ke? Elleh...dzakar ke, Dakar ke, same je. Asalkan bukan Zakar sudeh !!!.
So together with 2 more frens, Repco White callsign "YoMaiNiggah" and Repco Red callsign "HornyPhysio", they embarked on an adventure last Saturday 6/2/1010.

Triggered by a suggestion from YoMaiNiggah, they meticulously discussed the plan. Ideas were thrown out to n fro between them. After doing some feasibility and environmental impact studies, ermm ...about 2mins20sec into the dicussion, they decided to go to the "eagle-on-the hill"

Jurbo been there before on a bike (beskal), twice, during his uni days during the Vietnam Wars.
Back then, it was known as a romen-romen spot, because of the spectacular view.
To tell u the truth, the view is not that spectacular pon. Perhaps, the view becomes more spectacular only if u have a naked girl with mountainous breast besides u in the car. This, Jurbo can only speculate because with only a bicylce as his mode of transportation then, its hard for him to hook-up with a gal on that. (Despite his good looks!! Shocking isn't it ??)

So, just as fate took them, the bike team was essembled that consist of the past and current Swinging Bowl employees. From left to right, YoMaiNiggah, HornyPhysio and the infamous Dzakar in pink. Jurbo wasn't here because I don't know why lah?
So the adventure began.
.......ermm 10 minutes and 1.4 km later. Shit! This is hard. They were still within the city boundary, the real climb has not began yet, already they have casualty, Dzakar was down. Luckily YoMaiNiggah was on hand.
From this point on, they all knew, this was not going to be about fitness or personal strength or how much is yr bike worth.

This is about PAIN and how u handle your PAIN.
This is 10% physical, 90% mental.
Luckily, they were all MENTALly disturbed.

So with the war cry.....inspired by Lance Armstrong.....
"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. QUITTING IS FOREVER"
....they marched on.

Come-on mountain!
Please give us shit. I sell it back to you as fertilizers!


So they cycled with all their guts. Ciloks, ciloking and ciloked was rampant!
Every time somebody was down, they shouted
"Pain is temporary, Quitting is Forever"


As for Jurbo, everytime he tapau-ed YoMaiNiggah (as above), Jurbo will shout to YoMaiNiggah in Nepalese
"Oppa Dallia Ballar.......Oppa Dallia Ballar".
Which means in Hispanic, "Hawt Siyal, Lu Bodo".
.....Funni la these people!!

Nevertheless, they were only human. This time (left) its YoMaiNiggah turn to be down, while Dzakar tried to conceal YoMaiNiggah's zakar, which unlike his master, was Up n About.
While Jurbo (right) was down on his stomach with his jubor sticking up. Luckily, HornyPhysio was a sekolah agama alumni. So his prayer has strong cable to "The High Above" power.

After a quick tazkirah by HornyPhysio to Jurbo, that his gift of 4 hairy balls was meant to be used for his 4 lucky wives, in a second, Jurbo was on his feet again. Scary la this fella !!. ........Nasib baik ensem!
Soon after that, the team was up and running again, and ready to face-off all the challenges ahead.
One by one, the hurdles tumbled. Devils elbow, checked. Eagle on the Hill "entrance" checked.
Like I said, they were 100 mental. Who else in this world that met the devil and when the devil shows his elbow, that person show the devil his balls. Who..whoooooooo???

After these checkpoints, the journey turned nasty. The climb was like soo steep like 90 degrees I think. Jurbor, the part-time model/photographer/vulgar blogger/finalist "Pencarian Kacak Bergaya Vigor/Pancaindera 2010", was so busy shitting in his pants that he cannot take any picture of the climb. Until.........

Hulaweiii!!
Houston! The eagle has landed.
And HornyPhysio and YoMaiNiggah was so happi !!
So HornyPhysio brought-out the celebratory "frozen expired last year" yogurt, Cheers!
An hour later, while reminiscing their success, suddenly one minah-salleh stopped and asked the boys..
" Hi Guys! Did u guys missing one person? There's somebody back there, walking-up with his bike!"

Oh Fakk! They suddenly realized that Dzakar wasn't there yet!
So they made a monumentous decision to......erm wait for him there je la.
Dzakar need to battle his own demon himself. By demon, I mean his flabby ass!
And on that day, Dzakar WON! Yeaaa!!!!!
Slowly but surely, Dzakar made his way to catch up with the rest of the team.
.....ermm...he's there somewhere. Save the pic and magnify la. Like what we normaly did after we save pic of aweks la. Still want me to tell u!!

The second he arrived there, suddenly......

To be Continued!!......PART TWO IS HERE

Salam, Mekasey, Wassalam.

p/s: kisah jiwang valentime will be continued after the Jurbo n Dzakar adventure finish. Sabr yer mat2 jiwang sekelian.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Budget Swinging Bowl 2010 Di Dedahkan

Salam,

Inilah bajet-bajet Swinging Bowl 2009. (Gua tunjuk sikit2 sudess)

Bajet KOREA !!!


Bajet muda ...ataupun bajet nak kawin muda?.....atau dua2 skali?

Topek dok bajet agak2 pisau tu cukup power ke nak tembus bulu dada Arshad.


Bajet tepon awek, tapi handphone takde bateri......Nak sepak masuk laut tak sampai hati.

Bajet Playboy, tapi awek habuk tarrak!

Bajet peluk Rozita Chek Wan........Aku rasa kalau Rozita nampak gambar ni, dia pon bajet jadi punching bag tu gak..

Bajet hero tamil sebelah tong sampah sarap kedai aku. Lokasi hancus, tapi posing dan muka tip top mcam biasa.

Bajet ayu.....Woi..tudung mana bro?

Ringgo bajet putih....Aku dah boh "ultra power" setting kat flash, tapi tak nampak2 gak muka dia. Pasrah je lah bro..

Bajet Akhil Hayy......tapi terOver bajet. Lagi hensem la plak dari Ustad Akhil!!

Lari Bajet...!!!!

Terima kasey kpd Ringgo, Topek (bro ni bagik original idea) dan Arshad sebab "takdehal" gambar masuk sini. Spotting abes.

Terima kaseh jugak kpd Abg Hensem Swinging Bowl kerena sudi meminjamkan kehenseman dia barang seketika untuk entry blog kali ni. Biasanya top model macam dia charge maut punya.

Bagaimanapun, ada gak gambar yg tak boleh masuk sini sebab "orangnya" tak bagik permission. Poodaah!!. Jadi untuk gambar Gadis Bajet Hot, aku terpaksa gantikan dgn awek yg betul2 hot!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Satay Nipple perasa Fuzzy Wuzzy


Salam,

1 .Alhamdullilah. Minggu yg cukup bizi untuk aku telah berlalu. Weekend arituh, aku niaga kat Moon Lantern Fetival aka Pesta Tanglung. Jgn tekejut. Kat adeled, ostolia pon ada.

aku amik gambar tanglung ijau jer.........TAKBIRRR!!

2. Mula2 agak saspen gak aku sebab takde Arshad. Dia balik negeri beraya. Sebagaimana Formula-1 dan MotoGP memerlukan gadis litar untuk menarik penonton, begitulah juga fungsi arshad bagik aku. Dia ni kira macam pelaris lah untuk aku!!

3. Arshad ibarat ajinomoto kepada masakan. Ibarat sport-rim kepada tayar. Kalau takde, masakan tu tetap boleh di makan, tayar tu pasti berpusing. Tapi kurang oomph dan stailo la skit!

4. Itu pasal bila aku meniaga on that day, waktu siang hari slow sikit. Tapi bila dah masuk malam, baru pikap. Sebab masa siang ari, org boleh nampak arshad tak de. Bila dah malam ....... no one can tell !!

5. Lagipon, aku selaku seorang genius yg kacak, dah siang2 mintak Ringgo keje malam tu sebab ketinggian dan kulit dah lebih kurang sama. So malam tu Ringgo jadi body double a.k.a stunt-man untuk arshad la.

6. Hari tu cun, tak hujan, just nice. Cuma ada slight breeze of chilly air, yang menyebabkan nipple aku mengeras atau meng-chokeng dlm bahasa ibunda aku (kelate).


dari kiri: my second sister, nyah breast implant A-cup, "Arshad"

7. Nampaknya, nipple aku je yg mengalami erection tapi nipple Ringgo dan Arif tidak teruja sikit pon. Sudah pasti ini disebabkan oleh dada aku yang lebih tough bermuscle daripada kanak2 tersebut. Nipple budak2 pompuan dah sah2 tak nampak sebab dia orang pakai bra. Mungkin, in the future I might consider wearing a bra as well.

TQ everibodi. The team from left: arip, wani, hazerq, yani, "arshad". Team cocok satay (not in pic): ayie. Pemain gantian/subs: nizam.

8. Cakap pasal nipple ni, teringat aku 2 minggu lepas Ringgo gelakkan aku pasal tak tau main game Fuzzy Wuzzy. Ni adalh word game yg budak2 zaman celik IT sekarang suka main in a group. Game ni pelik sebab the actual rules tidak di beritahu. In fact the game is to guess the rules of the game.

9. Sorang akan bagik satu sentence yg mesti follows a particular pattern iaitu "fuzzy wuzzy likes/suka....X(isi tempat kosng), but fuzzy wuzzy don't like/tak suka.....Y(isi tpt kosong)". Kemudian org yg tau the rules akan bagitau samada ayat tu betul atau tidak...according to the secret rule.

10. Contoh2 yg correct ialah,
"Fuzzy wuzzy likes klcc, tapi tak suka klia"
"Fuzzy wuzzy likes door, tapi tak suka pintu"
"Fuzzy wuzzy likes samy vellu, tapi tak suka karpal singh"

So sekarang korang kene guess apa pattern pada ayat2 tuh. Tapi kalau korang nampak patternnya, jgn bagitau kuat2 apa pattern tuh. Koarang kene bagik contoh dalm ayat jugak untuk britau/hint org lain yg kau pon dah dapat pikap apa rules-nya.

11. Mula2, aku memang tak leh pikap apa pattern-nya. Tapi aku boleh di maafkan sebab aku ni dah tua dan otak pon dah season sikit. Tapi kerana kegeniusan aku sungguh melimpah ruah, maka aku telah mengoogle apa kejadah rulesnya game ni. So now I know........

12. So kepada budak2 yg tau the rules,

"Fuzzy wuzzy likes nipple tapi tak suka puting tetek!"

Betul ke tidak?

Sekian, terima kasih, wassalam

p/s kepada ringgo dan ciswani, ...fuzzy wuzzy likes inggat tapi don't like ingat.......

Monday, March 23, 2009

Datukship part 3: Shah Rukh Khan vs Arsyad.

Salam,
Aku penat, tapi aku pulun gak sejam setengah buat post penting ni!

1. Mane aci shah rukh khan (SRK) dapat datuk! Ehh ni kes lama dah beb. Aku tak kira. AKu nak kecoh gak. Aku tau che det sokong SRK dapat datuk, tapi lu che det dah nyanyuk. Aku tau chedet tu minat industan. Tok sah nak nipu aku che det!

2. Khalil yaakub (yg di pertua melaka) pon minat industan. Tu yg dier bagik title datuk kat SRK tu. Jadi deir bajet biler SRK datang melaka, mesti kene lepak 2-3 hari paling koman. Jadi boleh lah khalil beramah mesra pekena teh tarik barang segelas dua dengan bintang bollywood hebat tu.

3. Sebenarnya, apekah jasa SRK yg melayakkan beliau mendapat tittle datuk? Wah jasa beliau sungguh besar sekali. Inggat tak cerite One 2 Ka 4? Inggat pon korang. Kan ada satu scene (nyanyi la kot..) yg maser dok nyanyi-nyani tu, kejap SRK dok india, kejap dok las vegas, kejap dok malaysia dalam satu lagu tu. Yang tang dok malaysia tu, datuk SRK telah mencemar duli berronggeng di A Famosa Resort kat Alor Gajah.

4. Maka seluruh benua india dan pakistan dan bangladesh berkata WoW! Resort tu macam tak cukup org jer dok sapu sampah, papan tanda tu macam berabuk2 sikit, kapet tu macam nak kene ganti baru jer, tandas tu macam banyak je lalat berterbangan, rumput tu dah serabai macam bulu dada SRK biler dah seminggu tak di di syampoo dan di conditioner.

5. Jadi bermulalah sejarah di negeri di mana sejarah bermula, walaupun sebenarnya patut di panggil negeri di mana british nak sejarah malaya bermula, kerana british nak menunjukkan sejarah melaka yg di katakan terhebat dan tersohor seantaro dunia hanya boleh bertahan 111 tahun jer (1400-1511) sebelum kita di rogol bergilir2 oleh portugis, belanda, british, jepun dan british balik selama 446 tahun (1511-1957) dengan sewenang-wenangnya dan pemerkosaan itu di bantu oleh sultan melayu dan org melayu sendiri hingga lah kita di sedekahkan kemerdekaan oleh british dimana kalau tidak di sedekahkan, aku yakin kita masih menjunjung daulat queen elizabeth dan nyanyi lagu "God save the queen" kerana kita ni bacul sebab telah di takluk physical dan minda oleh pemerkosa kita yang mengunakan Melaka sebagai simbolik kemuncak kekuatan org melayu tu pon tak boleh lawan depa, inikan pula bile kita ni lemah lagi tak de chan jadi tok sah lah melawan senang kata dan mereka mengperingatkan kita dengan licik sekali apabila belanda sajer je tak peruntuh A Famosa dan british plak sajer jer tak peruntuh Red building (menantang aper panggil entah kt melaka tu) dan bangunan2 tu masih kekal sampai sekarang cun-melecun sebagai tanda kita telah di rogol dan bukan dara lagi buat selama-lamanya, hinggalah aku jadi TPM yg tau pakai C4 dan BOOM semua tuh dan aku akan kutip batu2 afamosa dan red building buat isi akuarium kat rumah aku dan buat guna beristinjak biler rumah aku tak de air..

6. Ape aku nak kata tadi ...lupo lak. Ohh..maka bermulalah penghijrahan beramai tenaga pekerja dari benua india (india, paki, bangla, nepal), ke negeri melaka, dan melaka menjadi kosmopolitan yg pesat membangun.

7. Aku geleng kepala jer biler tengok SRK di anugerahkan Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka (DMSM) yg membawa gelaran datuk tu. Patut bagi gelaran Tokoh Maal Hijrah dah lah disebabkan SRK mengalakkan penghijrahan rakan sebenua nya ke melaka, betul dak?

8. Ape sebenornye kriteria untuk dapat datuk datin ni yer? Datuk seri, tansri , tun etc? Ade exam ke gamaknyer? Setengah, eh silap... 99.9% drpd yg dapat gelaran ni kite tak kenal pon sape kejadah. Kadang2 aku raser depa dah tak de org nak bagik dah, tapi nak kene bagik gak kat ramai2 org baru grand majlis tu, walaupun kebanyakannya tak layak. Kalau ikut kelayakan, aku rase majlis tu 5 minit pon dah siap. Sultan tu nak pakai baju yg berjuta2 pin tu pon lagi lamer. Sultan nak buang seluar untuk gi berak pon lagi lamer.

9. Jadi di sebabkan tak de idea, maka sebarang cadangan mengarut akan di terima dan rasuah untuk mendapat gelaran2 berkenaan adalah amat di galakkan. Ehh, bukan rasuah! Yuran permohonan la...

10.Here's a thought, naper Jackie Chan tak dapat datuk? Jackie dah buat pilem berpuluh kali kat malaysia per. Dok tunjuk KLCC, pasar seni, KTM dll entah tempat maner ntah atuk dah lupo. Dan scene tu bukan maser jackie dok joget2 ke nyanyi2 ker khayal ker. Scene tu bukan pendek cinonet. Semeur scene hebat2 siap kungfu sakan meletup2 lagi. Jackie is without doubt a bigger star than SRK becoz dier dikenali di seluruh dunia, from hongkongwood to bollywood to hollywood. SRK hanya glamer di benua india, kelantan dan estate Sg Siput jer. Ape kelass!

11. Kalau SRK yg dok joget 3 saat kat A Famosa melaka tu pon boleh dapat Datuk, camner ngan bintang Swinging Bowllywood ini.
Siapakah yg dapat melupakan filem breakthrough beliau "Kuch Kuch Hotak Engkau Heeh"



Tak cukup satu pilem, dier belakon 2 sekaligus.


Nasib baik arshad dtg adelaide untuk bekerje di kedai aku sambil belajar sambil-sambilan di uni adelaide. Kalau dak, mahu penuh 1/3 utube ngan pilem beliau.

12. Ini macam, sudah promote port adelaide la, entertainment centre la, airport, botanic garden, mount lofty, university of adelaide lagi, ini kalau tak dapat gelaran datuk drpd kerajaan negeri South Australia ni, aku tak tau nak kate ape dah. Ehh..maner ader datuk kat sini , Sir ada la kan......Sir Arsyad.

13. Aku tau ade org mase arsyad ngaji kat sunway dok ucapkan "good morning sir" kat arsyad sebelum ni, tapi tu sebab depa dok inggat arsyad tu lecturer kerana kematangan penampilan beliau. Tapi kali ni aku nak kempen biar arsyad betul2 dapt gelaran Sir, baru korang jeles. SRK dok joget satu tempat dah dapat datuk. Aryad dok promote satu adelaide lagi. SRK glamer, arsyad pon glamer, SRK ader bulu dada, Arsyad pon ade bulu dada, SRK hensem, Arsyad pon hensem, SKR peramah dan pemurah dengan senyuman, Arsyad pon peramah dan murah dengan senyuman. Apalaga.......I rest my case.

14. Tuan direktor ringgo boleh lah di berikan AMN di sebabkan kecun-nan video beliau taraf slumdog millionaire. Untuk pengetahuan sesiapa yg suka sibuk nak ambil tahu, english ringo sekrang tak perlukan subtittle lagi. English ringgo berabuk berasap2 sampai terbunyi-bunyi smoke detector kedai aku biler dier goreng pelanggan aku (Ringgo keja ngan aku skang). Kalau english ringgo tak power, jenuh aku nak tulis subtittle kat bawah muka ringgo tiap kali dier goreng customer aku. Untuk pak pacak topek dan faku, bagi anugerah PCK dah lah (Pacak Cukup Korum).

15. Apa apa hal, jangan luper superstar kita Sir Arsyad. Saper panggil dier macha lepas ni akan kene daulat queen elizabeth dan daulat aku...

Sekian, makasih, wassalam.

ps: ejaan sebenar arsyad adalah arshad. Sorri sir...

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