What Were You Thinking Lisa?

Salam,
Aku bosan. Malas nak update. So izinkan aku buat post merepek ni.

1. Tobat aku tak kenal sapa Lisa Surihani. Seriously. Kalau dia datang bergolek2 tunggang terbalik depan aku pon, tobat aku takkan kenal nyer!

2. Aku dok sini dah sejak dari zaman Mahathir lagi bro. So mana la aku tau artis2 malaysia yang baru. No offence Lisa. Kalau Siti Nurhaliza tu pon datang lenggang lenggok masuk kedai aku pastu dok atas riba dan kasi cium basah satu kat pipi aku, still aku takan kenal dia. Scha. Fasha Sandha. Tiz etc, semuanya aku pernah dengar tapi muka aku tak cham.

3. Rozita Che Wan dan Neelofa pon aku tak cham muka. Tapi ........ diaorang punya assets-assests, kalau aku tengok sipi2, dari jarak 2 kilometer, di malam berkabus, tanpa purnama pon aku dah kenal. Yang ni Cik Ta punya. Yang Ni Cik Opa punya.

4. Jadi daripada cerita budak2 lelaki kat sini, apparently Lisa Surihani ni kira macam the ultimate girlfrend lah utk budak2 generasi sekarang. Comel. Manja. Cool. Suara cam itik. Bla2. Flatchest.

5. Hmmmmm.......tapi aku tengok dia macam ....not ugly, but biasa jer. Ramai kot awek2 yang muka pesen tu. Dah 3-4 budak2 pompuan yang datang dan tanya aku dengan penuh bajet,
"Ehh Bang Hensem, Muka saya macam Lisa Surihani kan kan kan?".

6. Aku waktu tu konfem akan jadi macam kaku dan deliver dialog kayu macam Awie dalam Sembilu 1, 2,3, 4, 5, 6, 7 dan 8,
"Haaaaa.....Ya benar. Awie rasa itu adalh satu pandangan yang sembilu...ehh... jitu".

7. Padahal dalam hati, I would be saying, "Do you really asking me to tell you that your face look normal bordering on boringness?"

8. Maybe shes not my type. Maybe its the generation gap. Maybe my biological sensors predict that she will be fat as she got older or shes a bitch that will be awaken. I don't know.

9. Anywho, for someone that is that popular, to choose Yusry KRU as her mate? What? The former jambu boy? That married Era Fazira at very late age, 29 y.o ? Yang fail? No children. Then 6 tahun menduda tanpa sebarang skandal. Hmmmmm......sambung lagi.....hmmmmm.

10. Does this guy got married because of love or because dia "terpaksa" kawin utk mengelakkan further spekulasi2 liar about his sexuality?

11. So Lisa, what were you thinking?

12. I am not a rich man but if you want a real man, I am here. If you want an older man, I am here. If you want a handsome man, I am here. If you want a formerly jambu hearthrob, I am still here.

So, Good luck Lisa, in your life, marriage and sex.

Sekian mekasey wassalam.

Lagu serius mantap. Apa barang Lisa Surihani atau Scha. "Hanya Kamu" by Hazim Nazlan