Sunday, February 7, 2010

The adventure of JURBO and DZAKAR : Le Tour de Spain......ermm PainS actually..!!! PART ONE


Welcome to an adventure.

Hello! This is Super Jurbo. U can call him just JURBO....:-))

And this is his fren. His name is DZAKAR.....ehh Dakar ke? Elleh...dzakar ke, Dakar ke, same je. Asalkan bukan Zakar sudeh !!!.
So together with 2 more frens, Repco White callsign "YoMaiNiggah" and Repco Red callsign "HornyPhysio", they embarked on an adventure last Saturday 6/2/1010.

Triggered by a suggestion from YoMaiNiggah, they meticulously discussed the plan. Ideas were thrown out to n fro between them. After doing some feasibility and environmental impact studies, ermm ...about 2mins20sec into the dicussion, they decided to go to the "eagle-on-the hill"

Jurbo been there before on a bike (beskal), twice, during his uni days during the Vietnam Wars.
Back then, it was known as a romen-romen spot, because of the spectacular view.
To tell u the truth, the view is not that spectacular pon. Perhaps, the view becomes more spectacular only if u have a naked girl with mountainous breast besides u in the car. This, Jurbo can only speculate because with only a bicylce as his mode of transportation then, its hard for him to hook-up with a gal on that. (Despite his good looks!! Shocking isn't it ??)

So, just as fate took them, the bike team was essembled that consist of the past and current Swinging Bowl employees. From left to right, YoMaiNiggah, HornyPhysio and the infamous Dzakar in pink. Jurbo wasn't here because I don't know why lah?
So the adventure began.
.......ermm 10 minutes and 1.4 km later. Shit! This is hard. They were still within the city boundary, the real climb has not began yet, already they have casualty, Dzakar was down. Luckily YoMaiNiggah was on hand.
From this point on, they all knew, this was not going to be about fitness or personal strength or how much is yr bike worth.

This is about PAIN and how u handle your PAIN.
This is 10% physical, 90% mental.
Luckily, they were all MENTALly disturbed.

So with the war cry.....inspired by Lance Armstrong.....
....they marched on.

Come-on mountain!
Please give us shit. I sell it back to you as fertilizers!

So they cycled with all their guts. Ciloks, ciloking and ciloked was rampant!
Every time somebody was down, they shouted
"Pain is temporary, Quitting is Forever"

As for Jurbo, everytime he tapau-ed YoMaiNiggah (as above), Jurbo will shout to YoMaiNiggah in Nepalese
"Oppa Dallia Ballar.......Oppa Dallia Ballar".
Which means in Hispanic, "Hawt Siyal, Lu Bodo".
.....Funni la these people!!

Nevertheless, they were only human. This time (left) its YoMaiNiggah turn to be down, while Dzakar tried to conceal YoMaiNiggah's zakar, which unlike his master, was Up n About.
While Jurbo (right) was down on his stomach with his jubor sticking up. Luckily, HornyPhysio was a sekolah agama alumni. So his prayer has strong cable to "The High Above" power.

After a quick tazkirah by HornyPhysio to Jurbo, that his gift of 4 hairy balls was meant to be used for his 4 lucky wives, in a second, Jurbo was on his feet again. Scary la this fella !!. ........Nasib baik ensem!
Soon after that, the team was up and running again, and ready to face-off all the challenges ahead.
One by one, the hurdles tumbled. Devils elbow, checked. Eagle on the Hill "entrance" checked.
Like I said, they were 100 mental. Who else in this world that met the devil and when the devil shows his elbow, that person show the devil his balls. Who..whoooooooo???

After these checkpoints, the journey turned nasty. The climb was like soo steep like 90 degrees I think. Jurbor, the part-time model/photographer/vulgar blogger/finalist "Pencarian Kacak Bergaya Vigor/Pancaindera 2010", was so busy shitting in his pants that he cannot take any picture of the climb. Until.........

Houston! The eagle has landed.
And HornyPhysio and YoMaiNiggah was so happi !!
So HornyPhysio brought-out the celebratory "frozen expired last year" yogurt, Cheers!
An hour later, while reminiscing their success, suddenly one minah-salleh stopped and asked the boys..
" Hi Guys! Did u guys missing one person? There's somebody back there, walking-up with his bike!"

Oh Fakk! They suddenly realized that Dzakar wasn't there yet!
So they made a monumentous decision to......erm wait for him there je la.
Dzakar need to battle his own demon himself. By demon, I mean his flabby ass!
And on that day, Dzakar WON! Yeaaa!!!!!
Slowly but surely, Dzakar made his way to catch up with the rest of the team.
.....ermm...he's there somewhere. Save the pic and magnify la. Like what we normaly did after we save pic of aweks la. Still want me to tell u!!

The second he arrived there, suddenly......

To be Continued!!......PART TWO IS HERE

Salam, Mekasey, Wassalam.

p/s: kisah jiwang valentime will be continued after the Jurbo n Dzakar adventure finish. Sabr yer mat2 jiwang sekelian.


Penk said...

ade next time dak? teruja aku tgk nih

ihsan_huhu said...

LOL water makes u LOL like crazy

mangkuk statik said...

penk; can u handle the Pain!!!

huhu: Gambar pegang tin tu caber tulisan LOL. So aku tak leh nak buat citer pasal LOL ler.

Munir said...

wei nak join jugak next time.... and yes. i can handle the pain... muahahaha. said...

ni latihan menguatkan tenaga batin ke apa...

mangkuk statik said...

munir:...can u handle the pain of heart-broken!! cewaahhh!!

hapatah: Bini gua takde kat sini at the moment. So Ini latihan untuk menguruskan badan, supaya boleh kawin lagi satu, so bini muda menjadi tempat lempiasan tenaga batin aku yg maksima


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