Monday, December 7, 2009

The Steam-Cutter: Part 3: Eclipse !!

my honey!!! muahhahahha
Salam,

Berikut adalah ilmu yg merbahaya. Ilmu ngelat apabila di tanya "soalan2 hot" oleh anak sendiri!! Gunakan ketika perlu sahaja. Amaran Keras. Penyalah-gunaan ilmu ini, boleh menyebabkan otak anak anda mereng!

No 1: Jgn menipu! Sebab budak2 akan tau lambat laun yg kau telah tipu dia.
Contohnya bila dah besar dia akan tau yg Santa Klos/Spiderman/Superman etc tak wujud, makan ais krim banyak2 tak rosak gigi kalau kau gosok gigi dan hantu tak pernah bunuh sekor manusia pon sejak zaman nabi adam lagi.

No 2:
Bila budak2 tanya soalan2 "hot", mula2 kau try create doubt dlm mind dia.

Soalan Contoh: "Papa, What is seks?"

Dan response kau ialah....
" Betul ke Muhammad dengar perkataan seks? Buku teks kot? Muhammad nak brapa banyak buku teks? Subjek apa?"......takpon
" Muhammad dengar perkatan sax kot? Sax adalh singkatan kepada saxaphone, iaitu sejenis alat muzik yg macam belalai.......ehh cukuplah setakat tuh jawapannya"

No 3:
Apa2 soalan dari budak2, kau pusing balik/tala soalan tu kat budak tu. Biar dia yg kene pikir balik. Baru dia pening dan fedap!! Wakakkaka

Soalan Contoh sekali lagi: "Papa, What is seks?" dan response kau ialah...

"Hmm...what do u think sex is? Why don't U tell me!"......
Hamik kau.Tanya sanggat soalan pelik2 kat aku.

No 4: Tukar topik dengan counter soalan yg aggressive. Again shift the balance of answering to the kid. Cilok baeek punya.

Eg: " Why do u want to know about sex Muhammad?"
Asalnya dia dok tanya menatang apa tu seks, tetiba dia plak kene pikir kenape dia plak nak tau pasal seks. Pening kepala budak tu.

N0 5: Yg ni jahat gila. Muahhaha. Kau terus attack dengan pukulan maut. Kau put the blame/burden kat budak tuh.

" Why do you ask? Do you like sex now Muhammad? Whos yr girlfren?"
Wakakkakaka.....mampus kau. Komfirm anak kau akn down giler sampai nangis2 nyer.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, berikut adalh lakonan semula conversation aku dan Muhammad lepas keluar dari kedai optometris tuh................

Md: " Papa? Why did that perempuan Cina called U honey? What does honey means?

Alamak. Aku tau dia dah terdengar. Jadi tak boleh menipu. Tapi aku tak nak bagitau dia yg perkataan honey tu agak "kontroversi" skit!....So aku create doubt.

Papa Hensem:
" Are u sure that u heard she called me honey? it could be money?"
Md: " No, she called u honey. I heard it! What does honey means"
Apalaga, suruh dia lah yg jawap.

Papa Hensem
: " What do u think that it means Muhammad?"
Md: " I dont' know that! What does it means?"

Budak nih. Apalaga. Attack mode is ON!

Papa Hensem: " I heard she called u honey too!!"
Md: " But I am a sweet little kid. But you are old papa. I can see that u got white hair when u asleep. You are not like me......."

Papa Hensem: " Wooo!! Wait a second. So its okay if she called u honey but when she called me honey, its not okay? I think u are jelous Muhammad!"
Md: " NOO!! I am not jelous......"

Papa Hensem: " Do u think that she is gorgeous? Do u like her?"
Md: No....She is not gorgeous... So why does she called u honey Papa?"

sebok la budak nih!

Papa Hensem: I dont know....maybe she like me Muhammad!! Muahahhahaha
Md: NOO. Papa! Why do u like young girls?"
Papa Hensem: NOO! I dont like young girls Muhammad. Papa only likes young "gorgeous" girl. Huge different there!!"

Md: Nooo. So what does honey means Papa?

tak habis2.


Papa Hensem: Why dont u ask mama. Tell her that a young gorgeous girl called papa honey!! Muahahhahah
Md: Yea.. I will ask her what honey means.

Okaylah. Cukup la setakat tu aku torture anak aku. Aku serrender

Papa Hensem: Do u still wanna know what honey means?
Md: Yea
Papa Hensem: Honey is like calling someone "darling". I told u that she likes me Muhammad. Muahhahahha..
Md: Noooooooo!!....

Padan muko hengkau!

And this wednesday, aku ada secend appointment jumpa dia jugak. Dia insist!! Aku nak buek camno. Dia kan doktor mata! Kita kene dengar cakap doktor. Lebih2 lagi doktor yg cun.
Aku kene buat sekend appointment sebab optik nerve aku besar gajah. Patutla aku ada X-Ray Vision

So sesape yg takde kerje, boleh dak jaga muhammad jap dari pukul 4 sampai aku abis tekan ayat. Aku belanja makan free 3 hari!!

TAMAT series

Sekian, mekasey, wassalam.



6 comments:

GheySA said...

mana gambar optometris tu? usha skit. lol

mangkuk statik said...

Gamab tu 25sx. Kau tak cukup umo lagi. Tak bley usha!

ihsan_huhu said...

hahaha... bp ribu dh awek tuh ketuk ko?

Abang Ben said...

Awek tu memang panggil ko honey ikhlas tu sebab ko cute dan ada potensi jadi husband dia. Tapi dia tersedar sebab dia terlalu cepat, nampak gopoh, so dia nak cover, dia terpaksa panggil anak ko honey juga.

Anyway, 50-60 awek ko dah ayat, takkan sorang pun tak lekat? Tercabar kelakian ko tu ;)

Tahniah bro! Bertambah umat Islam dan berkurang al-kafirun bila dia jadi isteri kelak! Jangan lupa buat kenduri besar!

maer wan said...

haha.. bro, nak share lawak pasal budak kecik tanya benda2 macam nih, boleh?

Cerita #1.
Megat Megatron (MM) bertanya kepada ayahnya Megat Telawi (MT), ketika ayahnya tengah 'panas' hati sebab harga rokok naik.
MM: Dad, what is the difference between 'confident' and confidential'?
MT: Son, why don't you ask your teacher? I'm kinda tired now.
MM: Tak kira! Nak jugak tahu! Nak jugak!
MT: Em, let me put it this way. You are my son, I'm confident you're my son.
MM: Oh, 'confident' tu pasti la, eh? Kalau 'confidential' pulak?
MT: That boy is also my son, but that is confidential.

Cerita #2.
Anak: Ayah, what is 'liwat'?
Ayah: Ish, why do you want to know? You'll know about it later2 bila dah besar.
Anak: Tak kira, nak jugak tahu now! NOW! NOW!
Ayah: Daddy janji, ok? Bila kamu dah besar, daddy will let you know what it means.
Anak: Takmo! Nak tau sekarang jugak! NOW! NOW!
Ayah: 'Liwat' is an old spelling for 'lewat' aka 'late'.
Anak: Oh, abes tuh, Seifool dgn Nuar tuh selalu lambat ke?
Ayah: Lebih kurang la. Selau lewat sampai ke ofis. Sebab tuh Jijah marah.
Anak: Oooh..

mangkuk statik said...

huhu: insuran bayo...Aku dapat Free-show!

ben: ayat last tu macam benar2 menepati jiwa raga aku. Bukanya aku nak sanggat awek ozzy, cun, blonde body mantap. Yang aku inginkan ialah mendakwah mereke kepada ISlam. Sambil menyelam sambil scuba diving.

maer: Aku tau kau jeles ngan sepol! Kau sedih naper nuar tak nak kat kau! Kau takde muscle bro!!

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